I understand those who see just the depiction of a controlling man over a girl with little experience as inappropriate. And I will never condone a relationship where one party feels controlled and manipulated.
That said… this is a MOVIE people… I don’t know why there is so much controversy about this movie. It was a crappy book that was very hard to read (not much to keep my interest), badly written and not really worth the time. However I made it through the 1st and second books and through to about page 50 of the 3rd… I really just could not bear another “Oh my”. I read the books because my husband bought them and read them and insisted I read them too!
I love books, always have. Even if the storey is Twilight (vampires) or Hidden (Angels), it has to have great characters, dialog, multiple storey lines and a climactic end.
So what was the fascination with 50 Shades? What did women identify with? Why was a very average book made into a big movie? In my professional opinion I believe it was 2 things… Sexual Fantasy and a prince.
- Most people have sexual fantasies, we rarely disclose these even to our partner. This is our secret world where we can think about any one and any scenario. These fantasies may help us when getting ourselves off, they may help when we need a little boost to reach orgasm during sex… they may help us get through a shitty day at work when life seems like a big black hole. Sexual fantasies are a healthy part or our sexual selves, they may also help us to explore the boundaries we are willing to peer over.
Some see the suggestive scenes in the movie as kinky, such an interesting word that one! Kinky is something one person may use to describe dominant/submissive sexual play. To others a simple and popular sexual position such a doggy may seem kinky. We are all so unique, our exposure to sex and sexuality can have polar extremes, even among siblings in the same family environment.
2. I also believe that women still have an unusual, unrealistic hope that one day a prince (ie rich, good looking, well-educated guy) will sweep them off their feet and look after them in absolute luxury forever… !!!! Wake up ladies, that is the stuff of Disney and you should have grown out of that by now!
Get yourself educated, find your passion, set goals and make your life your way. If you happen to meet a guy who shares your values and you love to spend time with them, they should feel very lucky to have met you. Never lose yourself for a relationship, because the lady he fell in love with will fade and so will his admiration.
As for the movie… it is fiction… a story… watch it like you watched Avatar or the Titanic… There are no princes on white horses coming to save you from your life.
If you want to explore the dom/sub world do it. Ensure you trust your partner 100% to stop if it gets too much for you… and start slowly. There is nothing wrong with two consenting adults mixing up their sexual play time.
Till next time…