Self-Perception And Your Sexuality

How do you feel about the way you look? Do you think others see you the same way you do? And how much does it worry you? Most of us are overly critical of ourselves, this of course feeds the massive global industry of diet supplements, beauty and cosmetic surgery.

How much does your self-perception affect your sexuality? I know many women who will avoid sexual relations or insist on turning out the lights when they feel they have put on a few kilos. They worry that their partner will be turned off, or make fun of them, or worse still not want to be intimate due to their perceived body shape.

The truth is a few kilos either way will go un-noticed by a majority of men. Most adore their beautiful partners and love being close to them. The feeling we get from skin on skin contact and the feeling that they have when you show them you want to be with them, far outweighs any wobbles they may catch a glimpse of during play. From my experience, women are far too conscious of what they may ‘look’ like during sex, instead of living in the moment and just going with the flow… enjoying life and their partner.

An old friend once said to me point blank “I don’t like ‘Ross’ doing me from behind when I’m feeling fat. He must just hate looking at my arse wobble.”  This is her favoured position, so by not indulging due to her own perception, she was missing out. I suggested she ask him if he liked this position or did he feel she had put on so much weight that he was turned off by it. So she asked him, and he said he had not noticed any difference at all, and he also loved that position. All that worry for nothing! She is a lovely hourglass shape by the way.

I don’t think men have as much of an issue with this particular side of their sexuality as women. As the picture suggests I believe many men… and some ladies, have a great self-image. Men are born to run around and procreate as often as possible, they are naturally able to push themselves forward to try to outdo the next guy, both mentally and physically… at least they think they can, and that is often all they need!

Are you happy with the way you look? Do you adjust your sexual play out of embarrassment, fear or rejection?

Confidence is the key, it will get you a long way in life, in all aspects, including in the bedroom.