Sex Talk With Your Kids
A difficult topic for some. Are you a parent? How do you go when you are talking to your kids about sex and sexuality? Have they ever asked you a question that made you feel uncomfortable?
I have always been very open with my two daughters, given what I do, I guess that is not so surprising. However many parents do struggle with this and think that if they just ignore the topic they will learn what they need somewhere else or at school and they are ‘off the hook’.
The average age a child will first see a pornographic image these days is 9 years old. Would your son or daughter be prepared to digest that imagery?
The best way to tackle this is head on. And you need to start the dialog as soon as they ask… and this may be as young as 3-4 years of age. The question will be simple and require an equally simple answer. For example “Mummy why does Daddy have a willy and you don’t?” the answer “Daddy is a boy and Mummy is a girl” is all you need to say. Thinking you need to deliver a 20 minute in depth presentation is where some get side tracked and bamboozled.
Listening to the question and answering only what is asked (with facts not myths) is paramount to initiating open discussion that will bid you both well for future conversations. If you have not answered their question or they think of something else they will keep asking until they are satisfied. It is our job as parents to equip our kids with as much knowledge and thinking tools as we can, so that when they are away from us they learn to make good decisions, know right from wrong. Included in this is healthy sexuality education from mum and dad. If they are given the correct names of their body parts including their ‘private parts’ it will enable them to say no, or run away if someone tries to interfere with them, and to tell an adult what is going on as soon as possible. We must teach them about what is private and what is public or what is good touching and what is not.
Failing to do this when they are young can become problematic when they hit the teen years, as outside influences and attitudes will affect their thought process. Way too many teens are getting their sex education from porn and this is a really bad point of reference. Don’t be surprised if your teenager will not talk to you if you have never tried to before. It may help to tell them a funny story from when you were a teen and learning about sex for the first time.
If you need some ideas or resources, please contact me and I will do my best to assist.