Relationship breakups are a hideous part of life! Most of us have been through one or two and we rarely hear it was a ‘mutual decision’…’we are all good’… If you are the leaver, you have possibly been pondering how to call it quits for a while and if you are the leavee, it very likely knocked you for a six!
I have been on both sides of this equation… It is difficult either way. For the one calling the shot the difficult part is just before the breakup and for the one who is told ‘it’s over’ has his or her life rocked completely off its feet, it can be shear hell!
When you find yourself Suddenly Single, life seems to drift, something is sucking the air from your lungs and everything is fuzzy. Some of us eat when going through this trauma and some, like me, cannot eat at all. When I am in that relationship breakup zone, my throat seems to build a wall between my mouth and my stomach. After my last big meltdown all I could manage was one piece of toast a day and that took about half an hour to get down.
There are definitely stages we go through when we lose our cosy, comfortable and familiar significant other. In some cases where that person actually passes away, there are many different things to deal with, but for those who just come home one day to be told ‘your services are no longer required’ in my life by the one person you trusted with your heart, everything just changes in an instant.
Whether you like it or not… you now have to make some decisions, all by yourself. If only your best friend was there to work through it with you… but wait… they are the reason you are here in the first place! Arrrggg…..
Nothing seems fair at this point, you may have to move house, get a new job, figure out your finances and ‘dis-entangle’ yourself from joint bills and bank accounts … money stuff!
Eventually the shock settles down and you can breathe again. But there is still this gaping void where you once shared most parts of yourself with your significant other… now you are alone, your friends patience is running a little thin and you and sitting alone at home again on a Saturday night with a pizza and a bottle of wine… wallowing in self-pity.
It takes a certain strength of character or some awesome friends to drag you out of your zombie state, dust off the pizza crumbs and get going again.
There is such a thing as a breakup coach… we have different coaches throughout life for different reasons. You have a Personal Trainer for your physical fitness, a Nutritionist for your internal health, a Yoga instructor for balance and sometimes you may need a breakup coach. They can help you realign your headspace, get your thoughts straight and set a new path with you.
Having helped many ladies get through crappy breakups over the years I have put together a more structured program to take you from that deep, dark and lonely place to finding the new you. Being Happily Single is the new black… dance with effervesce and life, find your next adventure and leave the past where it belongs. If you would like to have a chat to see if and how I may be able to assist you (or your friend whom you don’t know what to say to anymore) send me a message though my contact page. Let’s turn things around.
Yours in life’s adventures