Why do some people cheat?

Why do some people cheat?

Why is it that some adults in a monogamous relationship choose to step outside that circle of trust and have an intimate moment or more with someone else?

There are a multitude of different reasons and if you speak to someone who has cheated, they will most likely give you a long winded justification as to why and how it happened.

According to Sexual Health Australia, approximately 60% of Males and 45% of Females will admit to an affair at some time during their marriage. For some the reason is driven by sexual desires, others it can be emotional. It may also have slightly more sinister undertones, such as career advancement. And some simply fall in love with someone else.

Have you ever had an affair? Did your marriage or relationship survive? Have you been on the receiving end of a cheating partner?

I have been though the highs and lows with friends who have cheated and been cheated on. The emotional fallout is incredible. I also went through a hideous breakup due to a cheating partner. The worst part for me was I truly believed with all my heart he would never do this to me. I trusted him more than any person I knew. I thought we were such a perfect match in so many ways. It took months for me to recover. Within two months of the breakup (I caught him out trying to lie) I had secured a job in another state and relocated myself, moving away from family and friends. It was very challenging at the time.

I look back now and in hindsight believe he was one of those people who comes into your life for a reason. At that point I needed to be in that city for a few years, I needed to work for that company for a few years. He was very attached to his home town, I wanted to explore. So that relationship served it’s time and I know that I would not be where I am now if we had tried to ‘sort things out’ and stay together.

To this day I have a very firm belief that if you are in a relationship where the ‘contract’ or belief is that you are both committed to each other and no one else, if you find yourself more than  just looking at someone else. You should leave. Have the balls or the guts or the courage to do the right thing and just finish the relationship you are in before you start a new one. If you need to talk to a counsellor or therapist, do it.

Staying in a relationship you are not happy in or miserable about is a strange way to live. It’s not a rehearsal, you don’t get a second chance at life. A happy love life and sex life are a big part of a healthy balance.

Cheers

Darleen